Thursday, 25 August 2016

So after 30 minutes of blog set up my thought has gone.

Only joking even though my head is a mess there are defiantly some good points hanging around in there or I wouldn't make the effort to do a new blog.

So who am I well I'm not just like you I may be close and it's awesome that you can relate but I won't pretend I know you I will let you get to know me.

So who am I well truth be told I keep finding myself then loosing myself then trying to buy thing to improve myself or bring back na old version of me that I liked but to honest right now I'm not sure who I am but I pulling on bits of wool on that big ball of unravelled wool we all having messing up our heads and trying to make some sort of sense of it.

Now anyone that's knows me knows that's this will not be easy since my wool well it's not just one one it's multicoloured so either I find a way of dying it or I start from one end and get rid of the bits I don't need and untangle and rearrange the bits I do need.

I am a latter day saint I may not rant and rave about how amazing god is but he has saved my life so many times I need to give he credit for existing and helping me so much.

So my actual random flash of an image that led me to this post is finally coming up.
I picture my life as a mountain and climbing higher and higher would give me a better view of where life is taking me and the only way I can climbing is with happiness and with hope two things I get from the church and from my loved ones. So now this image that flashed in my mind that literally brought tears to my eyes was me falling from my mountain and my rope falling with me .

What the worst thing of all was, was that my daughter was behind she was falling too and it was the most real life shocking image I have ever had. If I let go if I fall if I let go of the church or I push my friends away there is no one to help me there is no one to grab my rope and stop me from falling not just me more importantly there is no one to stop amelia my 3 year old daughter falling. I need too keep climbing I can't let go I can't keep myself tucked away I need to listen I need to care. I need to be where I am suppose to be it's not just me anymore.


  1. Awesome is the word you forgot to use. In all the mess you forgot you are awesome, you are doing an awesome job of being a mummy and making it look easy when I know it isn't. God knows you're awesome too. I know you're awesome and if I ask Amelia she would say you are awesome too. And today, just so you know you made me feel awesome too. Keep writing!

    1. thankyou :) and yes I am awesome but sometimes it good to have a reminder and of course you are too I mean you raised 4 of us and I don't know how u did it even though I wouldn't mind a few more so atleast I can try.